Sunday, July 22, 2012

Fighting Like A Girl!

I met with the oncologist on Thursday and I had a few moments where I was trying to hold back the tears.  I realized I had a lot of anxiety building up in me while I laid in that hospital worrying about what my treatment would be like.  I hate the unknown- I could google anything I wanted, but I knew that there would be a plan specific to me.  After  many days of waiting, I finally know what to expect.

I didn't realize that chemotherapy could be administered in so many different ways.  Of course the way I'll be receiving mine is not the one I would have picked out for me, but I'm fighting like a girl and I'll do what it takes to get this over with!  On August 2nd I will go to IMC to have a port placed in my upper chest.  The port will be installed beneath the skin and a catheter connects the port to a vein.  Under the skin the port has a rubbery center where my treatments can be injected and blood can be drawn.  They gave me numbing ointment to put on the port area so I don't need to feel the needle pricks.  I realllllllllly hope I'm getting some serious drugs before this procedure.  I think I'll feel a bit Star Trek like- I'll post pictures of it when it's healed.

If you are not interested in all the technical information for my treatments then skip a few paragraphs.  I'd really hate to bore anyone, but I'd love to scare all of you into getting your colonoscopies :)

I'll be receiving a kick butt cocktail of chemo treatments called Folfox (poison).  Folfox is made up of three different chemo drugs- 5-FU, Leucovorin and Oxaliplatin.  I'll go to the oncologist to get hooked up and receive two hours of the Oxaliplatin and then I'll be sent home with a spiffy little fanny pack and remain hooked up to the rest of the Flofox 46 hours.  I'll do this every two weeks for a total of 12 treatments.  (I think that's all correct)

Side-effects that I MIGHT have:

•Heart attack in patients that have a history in heart problems.  Hmmm, I wonder if my dad dying from congestive heart failure and multiple heart attacks places me in the "at risk" area.  We'll just not think about that :)
•The Oxaliplatin can cause nerve damage.  Things like picking up a cold glass or being in the cold can bother me.  Looks like someone will have to hold my Sonic cup for me.  After about 3 months of this drug I can start to lose the feeling in my toes and fingers.  At this point they will stop that medication (poison) because apparently the feeling might not come back.
•The rest of the symptoms are: Nausea/vomiting, mouth sores, muscle cramps, loss of balance, difficulty picking up objects (shoot! can't clean up after myself), difficulty hearing (HUH?), cracked nails, loss of hair, appetite loss, etc.....

My surgeon and my oncologist both ensured me that I would not be losing my hair.  Brandon is a bit disappointed- he was looking forward to being the bald twins.

A lot of people act differently to chemo, some get sick and some feel great.  I have no idea what I'll experience, but I've been given a good list of things to watch for.  The oncologists are not stingy with their drugs either, GOOD!  Chemo patients are kind of the bomb and deserve every bit of help they can get.  I'm wondering if I should move to San Diego for the next six months so I can get me some of those medical marijuana brownies ;)

Thursday was a lot to take in, but I was able to stop by Camera Shy and I couldn't believe it- my staff is amazing!  They have really done such a great job.  I don't know how many bosses could just up and leave for 4 weeks and have their entire staff come together and make it their own.  I love them to pieces, they are like my best friends and it's hard being away from them.  Love you girls!

Right now I'm working on absorption.  I'm really trying to find a place for all of this in my head- sometimes I find myself getting upset and sad.  I just keep telling myself that      •THIS will not define me!       •THIS will not be my life!       •And THIS won't beat me!


PS- PLEASE share my blog with all of my friends, family and neighbors.  I'd really like everyone to read what's happening from me.  I'll keep everyone up to date on everything as I feel like sharing.  My poor kids are having a really hard time escaping the question "how is your mom"?  Mom is fine :) Please help me with the difficult challenge of keeping life "normal" for them.  I know everyone means well, but I want them to be able to escape this as much as possible.  Hugs and "how are you" are great.  Thanks a million!


  1. Love you Becky! Thanks for keeping all of us so updated. As always, you are amazing! I'll move to San Diego with you!

  2. I think my first comment on Facebook got deleted somehow, and so the response after that was funky. I think it is OK to have a big ol' bawl. Let it out! Those emotions do you no good to be bottled up inside. Let them out and then get yourself dusted off and bring on the fight! You WILL beat this, Becky. Of that I have no doubt. I have a nail client that battled colon cancer for a long time (and she is doing so great now) and she had the same chemo. You'll be just fine. You have so many people who love you and are rooting for you. Mwah!

  3. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings with us, we are all here cheering you on and wanting to help you and your family in anyway we can. We would love to come visit when you are up to your # the same since you got your new phone? Thinking about you lots Becky and praying for you and your sweet family!

  4. Love you tons Becky! The girls and I always have you in our minds.

  5. WOW! You are a superstar and will kick this ugly cancer thing back where it belongs!! You are such a fun, beautiful, smart, witty woman and from someone who has experienced it first hand, you will not let it define you!! Keep doing fun things with your kids. My favorite times with my kids was just cuddling on the couch! They were the best moments and I will always cherish them cause they could share that down time with me. I know that my family is so much stronger from what we experienced and yours will too!! We love you and your family so much and will be praying for you all!!! Let me know if you ever need anything! HUGS

  6. Dang I just typed a big ol' beautiful comment on my iPad & it disappeared. Basically it said I have no idea what I can do for you to help but I really want to help you! Of course I'm praying, thinking about you & sending good thoughts your way. I really hope you know that I would do anything for you & your family. Anything! Just ask, please:)! I like Chandy's comment about cuddling with your kids. They'll love that. (((((((HUGS)))))))!!!!!

    -Jen Yancey aka OBFF. I think it's time for a new best friend necklace.

  7. Becky,
    I love hearing your sense of humor through this, that'll definitely get you through this, and you'll beat this cancer!! Thank you for posting your treatment plan, I was curious how they'd treat it. Tommy was given the port for 3 1/2 years, and that is probably the best way and most common way I think. He was a little sore after it was placed, but if you get lidocaine it numbs it really well before they administer the chemo, he was unaware of the poke half the time-thank heavens!
    One day you'll look back at all of this, maybe when it isn't so crazy, but you'll think of it as a blessing. I always thought people were nuts when they'd tell me that, but our family was so strengthened and blessed from it all, I absolutely call it a blessing.
    Stay Strong! You have so much love and support for your family, just let people help you as much as you can and get yourself better!
    Plan on us taking care of dance carpool for your cute girls, and please let me know how else we can help.
    Take Care! XOXO

  8. I love your attitude and i am so glad that you will not be losing your hair. (one less thing to worry about) :) Hopefully, getting the port in will be a breeze, compared to what you have already been through. I would be all over the drugs for that too, but you will do great! You are super woman and i just can't wait for you to get better so we can all go on a trip and eat lots of yummy food and have lots of fun "girl talk". Praying always for you and your sweet family! Love you!

  9. Hello. Just checking in to see what you've been up to & how you are doing. Love ya!