Seriously! Chemo stinks!

Here are a few conversations I've had recently:

Officer: "Hi, where are you off to in such a hurry?"

Me: "Chemo"

Officer: not a believable look on his face- "most women say they are in labor"

Me: nervous chuckle.

Officer:  "Can I see your license and registration?"  "What are you receiving chemo for?"

Me: "Colon cancer"

Officer: "give me a few minutes"

Me: "OMG! Really Becky!"

Officer:  "You need to slow down so you can make

 it to your appointments in one piece."  "My grandpa

 died really young from colon cancer so you

 can thank him today for me letting you off"

Me: GULP "thank you grandpa"???

What a nice officer- he knew I needed a break! 

•••••••••

Max: "Mom, do you need a hug?"
Me: "Yes, I do!  How did you know?"
Max: "I just know because I know when my mom
needs hugs and because I'm your favorite."

Hug, Hug, Hug- I love that kid.

•••••••••

Me: "Whitney, you and I need to run and go to.........."
Whitney:  "To what?"
Me: "ummm"
Whitney: "mom, I hate it when you do this"
Me: "wait, it's coming to me"
Whitney: "you really forgot?"
Me: "yup, sure did"

Brain fog

•••••••••

Patient sitting next to me during Chemo: "How's your husband handling this?"
Me: "He seems to be doing well.  He has his brave face on."
Patient: "Mine is really worried about me and makes me feel anxious at times."
Me: "sounds like you might need some ear plugs."
Patient: "Did you know that 75% of all marriages that involve cancer end in divorce."
Me: .....................................

If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.  Right?

•••••••••

Last week was fun, I went to lunch with Dari and went with Yancey to go visit Chrissy and Matthew up at Primary's.  Matthew is waiting for a heart and has been in the hospital for a long time.  I think he's at like 120 days now :(  He is the sweetest little boy EVER!  I love that kid.

I had lunch plans with Mindy and Sam yesterday so my goal was to get up and get ready and go to lunch.  I was able to eat and have some good conversations.  We had fun!  Too much fun because it wiped me out!  I came home and flopped on the bed!  I was beat!  Those girls know how to PARTY!  I do feel a lot better when I'm up and moving around and not laying in bed all day.

My mom was here yesterday and today- thank goodness!

Tonight I'm going to dinner with Suzy, Liz, Bonnie and Cindy.  I'm sure I'll be ready to get out of the house by the time night rolls around.  Suzy will take care of me if not.  I joke with Brandon because I have been on so many dinner and lunch outings with friends and family lately.  I feel so loved ;)

I have spent so much time trying to stay positive and upbeat that I don't think I have really allowed myself to be sad or ticked off with the truth. I have cancer.  I have a disease that I did not plan for.  Now I have to make arrangements in my life for this intruder.  This has, and will, change my life.  

You won't see me getting negative a whole lot during these blog entries.  It's not the type of person I am...  In order for me to stay upbeat I need to be upbeat.  However, I do know that there is a reality to all of this and this is a place for me to vent and when I feel like venting then I will ;)

Thanks for reading everyone!  I took another picture the day before round two.  I think I still look the same :)  If I don't then don't let me know- ha!

xoxo

Becky

PS- get your colon checked!  

Feeling Great!

It's a new week and I'm 5 days out from my treatment.  I'm finally able to drink my Sonic, I was in their drive through this morning at 10:30.  What?  I guess the shards of glass feeling only lasts 3-5 days- WHEW!  I do feel a little weaker and I'm really noticing the "chemo brain".  If you have short or long conversations with me then please don't judge if I start giving blank stares.  That's just me trying to figure what in the heck I'm trying to say.  "blah, blah, blub, blub, blah"  That's how I feel.

•••••

This week is going to mainly be appointments with my Oncologist working on getting my INR's at the right level.  This measures the time it takes for my blood to clot.  This is to watch things so I don't get anymore blood clots.

•••••

Super excited to be back working at Camera Shy.  Went outdoors scouting out new locations with Mac and Ray.  Ray loves taking pics of me in awkward positions- I'll get her back one of these days.  Really I fell on the sidewalk and quickly grabbed my camera from my pocket and pretended it was meant to happen.  JK- I was totally embarrassing Whitney by yelling "jump", "jump higher", "now be funny", "not that funny", "stop, now dance".  AHAHAHA!  Here's some of what I got.

A lot of people ask me how they can help me right now and one thing that I know everyone can do is to tell your family and friends about my awesome studio!  www.camerashy.com  or www.facebook.com/camerashy !!!  Really, you'll be doing them a favor by sending them to us.  Our prices and quality are awesome!  AND the photographers work so hard and they ROCK!

Back to School pictures are a must right now and it's time to stop with the same old boring ones!  Be different!

•••••

This is the last week of summer for my younger kids and Max starts all day kindergarten this year :(  It'll just be me and Katie now- she'll be my little side-kick.  I'm sure that between her and the studio I will be pretty busy- she's kinda crazy.

It doesn't feel like we had much of a summer, 2 months of mine was spent all doped up.  They are seriously the best kids EVER!  Alex, Whitney and Jessie have really stepped up and have been so much help with Max and Katie.  Love them so much!

I hope everyone is enjoying their last few weeks of summer!  If you get bored just go get a colonoscopy!  

xoxo

Becky

Just Adjusting My Sails...

Just for starters I want everyone to know that the television commercial STOLE my theme song!  Clearly I had it first.  No respect!

••••

Today was the big flag on the calendar.  I think I had it in my mind that EVERYTHING had to happen before today.  Why?  I don't know, maybe I've heard too many chemo horror stories.  I wanted to be stylish, yet comfortable so I bought a bunch of new clothes.  I wanted some sun on my skin before I have to go in to sunblock mode for 9 months.  I wanted a vacation for my family since I was in the hospital while we were suppose to be vacationing.  I wanted to see family and friends.  I wanted pedicures, hair colored and cut and I even wanted my free set of fake eyelash extensions :)

I figured that if I went into this as a fighter then I'd most certainly try to remain a fighter the entire time.  Brandon, that's the best way to explain all the new purchases!  He loves me :)

With the approval of the oncologist, Brandon and I (mostly Brandon) packed the kids up and headed to Saint George for a week with his parents at their own little mini resort in Entrada.  The kids had so much fun!  They had a bit of mud issues after the floods a few weeks ago.  Scott and Diane worked so hard to get everything looking perfect again for our family to come down.

You have to see the pictures to believe this place.

Diane makes some pretty killer meals in this kitchen.  We even had blueberry dessert!

There's Grandy, trying to take Katie's floaty away again ;)

Coolest theater room with a stage and karaoke. 

Can you tell I like the pool??

••••

One of the best part about being diagnosed with cancer is that you get to physically see SO many family and friends.  Brandon and I were able to go to dinner with my brothers and uncle and spouses.  We had a lot of fun!  I have so many siblings that it makes it extra hard to see everyone, but no more excuses!

Added a little bling to this one.  Don't my oldest brothers look like my body guards?

Don't let the white pupils throw you off, we really are incredibly good looking.

Saint George was a blast!  Thanks Scott and Diane for providing us with so many fun things to do!

••••

The following week meant lots of appointments.  Before chemo was to start I needed to make sure I got in to see a dentist ASAP.  During chemo they don't like you to have any dental work done because of the risk of infection.  I had a crown repaired and passed with flying colors on everything else.

I had appoinments to have my INR's checked to see how well my blood thinners are doing, etc...

Max had his kindergarten check-up.  He was super cute, but not happy about the shots.  I kissed it all better with a trip to Kmart and a new toy and a slurpee.  I'm the best mom!

I managed to squeeze a staff meeting in on Tuesday before I had a very important hair appointment.

Met with my surgeon and was given the go-ahead to wait until after chemo for my second colonoscopy.  Let's not forget that the cancer only allowed them to make it half way through on the first colonoscopy.  I get to go back and see what might be lingering on the other side.  I'm certain it has been behaving well and still looks nice and pretty :)  Yes, there are ugly colons and pretty colons- trust me!

I had a chemo class to go to that was pretty boring and I had already been told most of it all.  One thing I didn't know was that drinking anything cold would feel like glass in my throat!  Were they serious?  Don't they know I need my diet cranberry limeade with extra ice from Sonic DAILY???  Ergh!  Crampin my style I tell ya!  I can live with the port and the tubes and the pricks and injections, but really?  A girls gotta have her Sonic!

On Thursday I had my port placed at the big IMC hospital or the "mothership".  I was pretty nervous about pretty much nothing.  They had me higher than a kite while I was in the surgical room.  I really think they thought I was crazy- I'm sure you'll probably hear recordings of me being passed around on youtube soon.  I thought I was pretty hilarious....  The port itself is sore and very foreign.  I'm sure I'll get use to it.  She already has a name- it's Purdie Porty.

The large incision is where the port lies under the skin.  You can't really see it, but a small line runs upwards towards that smaller incision in my neck.  They make that small incision to access a large vein and they feed the line through the vein and down to my heart.  Easy Peasy!

••••

Whitney went to her first year of girls camp and had a blast!  She tried to take me down with the "Miss Camp" award, but it looks like I still hold the title in this house ;)   Whit, you'll make a pretty bride and I have proven to make a beautiful woman who wears trash bags under her swimsuit.  What you don't see are my dad's shoes I was wearing from like 1940.  Oh yeah!  Maybe next year you should take your dad's shoes..... lol!  I love you Beaner and I am so glad to see your face again!  Muah!

••••

Just when Brandon thought he had his whole family back and could enjoy a quiet weekend....  I decided to be spontaneous :)  My four older siblings had a brother who just got married in Alabama and was having an open house in Saint George for the cute new couple.  I decided to drive to Saint George with my sister's BFF on Saturday morning, help at the open house, and drive back home on Sunday.  It was nice and it certainly got my mind off chemo.  Here's some pics we snagged.

Suzy's boys chose to drive with me... I have better music!

Everyone's doing it.  Get dressed up and take a snapshot of yourself!
This was right before the open house.

Taking Kelly on a tour of the in-laws mini resort.

••••

Chemo started today!  I got mad at Brandon for taking this, but I'm sure I'll like having them.  I didn't feel much at the clinic, now that I'm home I'm feeling the glass shards even with luke warm water.  I learned that sitting on a cold toilet was NOT going to be happening again.  I'm very sensitive to anything cold :(  My ears are ringing, I feel irritable and I DO have nausea- that's as far as I'll get into it.  

All Hooked up for 46 hours and even got my fanny pack  just like they promised :)  I was thinking I might throw on my "mom jeans", strap on my fanny pack and go to Smiths-  Just for kicks :)

Last but not least....  I'll be taking a picture every time I go in for treatments so I can see what's changing with me.  I say that on my first treatment day, let's see if I really end up doing this :)

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer!  I love hearing from everyone and having the opportunity to see many of you.  I'm so motivated by everyone's kind words, thank you for the support!

xoxo

Becky